Friday, July 8, 2011

The Golden Months

We went on our final vacation before Little Rigs arrives, a few weekends ago. Jeff let me choose and book the entire trip with giving very little input.  I know he would have preferred to go to Paris or Sao Paulo, but I wanted a short flight, no crowds, a pool, a beach, and to avoid adventurous or stressful situations at all costs. Which, in a nutshell, describes Jeff’s antithesis of a vacation. 

Jeff pretending to love Florida!
Given my parameters, I decided we should go to Florida. Out of all 50 states Jeff has visited, this is his least favorite. It’s certainly not in my top 10, but its got its perks.  As we waited at the bar in Jet Blue’s Terminal 5 to board our flight to Naples, panic rushed over me. In the distance, in front of the gate door, I saw hoards of senior citizens pushing and shoving, anxiously waiting to be the first to board the plane.  When the gate attendant announced that passengers needing extra time to board the aircraft could do so, they all rushed forward.  Jeff and I hung back and looked dumbfounded at one another.   Jeff asked me, “why is it that you always like to vacation with seniors?”  Before getting defensive, I thought about some of my most recent trips...Vermont, Las Vegas, Alaska, San Diego and realized he had a point.

I thought about what he said some more on our flight and it dawned on me that pregnant ladies and old people have so much in common and it makes perfect sense that they choose to vacation in the same spots.

1.  They go to bed early
2.  They need to go to the bathroom all the time
3. They like low-impact activities like swimming and nature walks
4.  They don’t like standing for long periods of time
5. They’re body does weird things and takes on weird shapes
6.  They fart and pretend they didn’t
7.  They prefer juice to alcohol
8.  They’re particular about packing snacks and finding shade
9.  They wear elastic-waist pants
10. They need help tying or buckling their shoes

We stayed at Naples Grand Beach Resort and it was exactly what I had in mind.   This is what made it the perfect babymoon destination:

1. They had three pools, one for families, which we avoided completely, a lap pool, which was empty and I used alone every morning, and an adult pool, which we used during the day.

2. They had great desserts and ice cream bar every day from 12 – 3PM.  Just a dollar a scoop! No coupons, needed!

3. They had a long list of virgin cocktails...every pregnant ladies dream!

4. They had a beautiful and peaceful spa that offers an awesome pre-natal massage.

5. Naples, as a city, is very pretty, nice and safe but there’s little to do aside from shop and eat. It forced us to relax.

6. The beach was beautiful, clean, sandy and calm.  They had lounge chairs and umbrellas for rent, which they also set up and take down.

7. The path to the beach went through a beautiful, shaded, mangrove….nature walk, anyone? But, if you didn't feel like walking, they would drive you there on the golf cart. 

8. It’s hot and humid, but there’s central air everywhere, just like Las Vegas.

9. The breakfast buffet, albeit pricey, was one of the best I’ve experienced.  It blew Hometown Buffet, out of the water.

10. Given its their off-season, there were no crowds!

So, I’m giving the wheels on my suitcase a break for a bit, but Jeff and I are both addicted to travel, so this baby better get on board with our jet-setting ways real quick. 

Or, we’ll just leave the baby behind with the grandparents.   It’s hard to imagine, but I think they love babies even more than pregnant ladies and new parents do.
I'm glowing from a sunburn, not pregnancy

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