Sit, Wonder & Wait

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw, as I sit at my desk, look out the window, reflect on things, think about what’s to come, and write my blog.

I’m really happy.  I’ll compare how I feel right now, to how I feel when Christmas, my favorite holiday, is a few days away.   I get all excited as I anticipate seeing friends and family, eating good food, giving and receiving gifts.   But it’s an even bigger and better feeling that I have right now.  I feel very special and that this is very unique time of my life.

For one, I’m not officially on maternity leave, but I’m working from home from this point forward and it’s such a treat.  I get up around 7AM, make coffee and breakfast, and hop to work without needing to shower or commute.   It’s a luxury and I’m digging it.   Jeff is digging it too.  He loves that the coffee is already made, even though he has to reheat it, because he rolls out of bed about 3 hours after me (he starts late, but works late),  and that I make his lunch each day.   When he didn’t have a stay-at-home wife, he would have a banana or pick at deli meat, but now he gets chicken salads and warm sandwiches with a side of grapes.   I even pick up after him and give me a napkin. Awe.

38 Weeks

As for real maternity leave, that’s something I have dreamt about since I graduated college, perhaps even since I was a teenager, when I got my first job.  I first started working as a waitress, when I was 14 years old, at the Holy Family Monastery, in the footsteps of my sister and cousins.  Shortly thereafter, I became addicted to money, and therefore, working, because of all the things it allowed me to do and buy.  Of course, I’ve taken breaks and vacations since then, but nothing comes close to as long as 3 months of maternity leave.   I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it. 

Per my doctor’s most recent request, my pace has slowed and the social calendar has evaporated.   As most of you know, I don’t do “slow” well.  The inability to relax and take it easy is a trait I picked up from my Mom.   We ladies, get restless and bored easily.  However, I’ve promised myself, that I cannot say "I’m bored" from this point forward. I need to enjoy these last few moments of boredom, freedom, quiet, and calm.  

I’m excited to meet our baby and see whom he/she looks most like. I think I’ve read enough material to qualify as a certified doula and lactation consultant, but I’m curious and scared to know what labor, birth, and breastfeeding actually feel like.  I wonder how Jeff will handle and support me through the process and how our relationship will change once we have a baby.   We’re as capable, ready and prepared as we’ll ever be, but it’s all new territory for us.  I’m nine months into this, and I still think “holy shit” I’m having a baby, when I walk by the mirror.   I’m sure, in a few weeks, I will walk around with a baby in my arms, and think, “holy crap” (notice, the future me, won’t swear), I’m a mother.  Perhaps, being a mother is so life-changing, it never stops surprising you.  

1. Baby, I hope you are blessed with our tan Italian skin and thick locks of hair!

                                               

2.  Little Rigs, I beg of you to have our sophistication, class, and that you carry the well-respected family name with it's due sense of dignity and pride!

3. And of course, Riglet, please have our love for adventure and travel! Plus, our fashion-sense would do you well. You'll see, fanny packs rule the school!